I even read Jessica Rowe's entry in Vogue magazine after seeing her husband Peter Overton on the Kerri-Anne Show talking about his wive's downward spiral - and seeing how upset he became, really upset me too. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXf7fZOaqpQ].
All I could think was 'why am I trying to do this on my own? This affects my husband too...' And so I decided that my husband really needs to know my feelings. He understood and said I need to talk to him more often and we need to get our parents to help out more so I can have a break whenever I need it.
Just writing this blog has been difficult enough. Hopefully others understand how hard it is to admit these things.
Just wondering now, what do I do now? How can I help myself without medical intervention (I don't think I'm that bad...)? Hopefully others that have gone through the same thing can help me out with this??
Please PLEASE go and talk to your doctor, even if you don't think you're "that bad". If your doctor seems dismissive or not sympathetic, go and talk to someone else. This is really important. The fact that you think you may be depressed is already a pretty big indicator that you are. Going to a doctor doesn't necessarily mean that you will have to start taking medication, but the right doctor can point you in the direction of people in your community who can help you. The blog world and websites might provide some support, but contact with real people tends to be the most helpful (in my opinion). I was pretty depressed after my first child was born but did not admit it to myself at the time. Looking back, it would have helped to have been around more people who could let me cry on their shoulder and confess that I was having a really hard time; people who could assure me that it was normal for my baby not to sleep through the night at 6, 9 or even 12 months old and that this wasn't a sign that I was a terrible mother; that it was normal for my baby to nap only short naps during the day; that it was normal for me to be feeling exhausted and completely over the whole motherhood thing, etc...
ReplyDeleteI think it's also fantastic that you are finding ways to secure much-needed time for yourself (something I, too, was lacking at the time). Parenting a small child is so very hard, especially if it's the first time you're doing it, and the more help you can get, the better.
Big hugs to you :)
PS: please believe me when I say that IT DOES GET EASIER. It really does.
ReplyDeleteTired Mummy, how are you going these days? I hope you are ok. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.
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