This morning on the Today Show, I saw an interview by another mum blogger who took photos of her post baby belly to bring attention to the pressure that mums face today to lose weight. Miranda Kerr was referenced as she lost a lot of weight rapidly soon after having her baby and Jessica Simpson was also referenced because she has already signed up to lose weight as soon as her baby is due. She told the Today Show that new mums are under a lot of external pressure to lose post baby weight and that these celebrities are not helping.
I personally have not seen this pressure happen. No one pressured me to lose weight immediately after my baby was born and no one is pressuring me yet. Celebrities have this pressure because they're in the public eye every day but we do not. I think that we put the pressure on ourselves because we feel that we need to look a certain way and that people will judge us if we don't 'bounce' back after having a baby. So we blame others for putting this pressure on us when really its us pressuring ourselves. Who cares if we don't immediately lose the weight as soon as our baby is born? The female body isn't intended to 'bounce' back into shape once the baby 'pop's out. The skin stretches, things sag, and other things become looser. We get dark spots and dry skin and our hair may even fall out. That's just the reality of childbirth. Even the celebrities have these things happen to them; they're also human after all. If these things don't happen, then we're lucky. Or we have plenty of money to pay for Personal Trainers or plastic surgery, probably because we're celebrities.
Another thing I would like to point out is that this 'pressure' is new, probably within the last 5 years, I personally think. The media has brought attention to it. The blogger this morning being interviewed on the Today Show brought attention to it. Mothers then start to think about their bodies and 'agree' that there is pressure put on them, when really, the media and these other people are making them feel that there is pressure. It's like when the media blew SARS out of proportion so the world got all paranoid and thought we were on the brink of death. The media does that. That's their job. Think for yourselves, women! There is NO PRESSURE! Miranda Kerr was a tiny figured woman to begin with, with hardly any curves. She had a baby and then hired a Personal Trainer with all her money. She got her tiny figured body back, but I still don't see many curves. (Personally, I think she looks like a little girl!). Do you see celebrities taking candid photos of their post-baby bellies to show the public what it's really like? Of course not. Their chosen vocation won't allow it.
As 'normal' women, we really need to put ourselves 2nd to our babies. That's just how it works. We decided to make a huge sacrifice by bringing our babies into the world and raising them. We lose our perfect figures and we become tired, exhausted. But we'd do it all over again. And again. Or so I know I would! It's all worth it.
As a final note, I'd like to point out that most men prefer curves on a woman. Giving birth gives us bigger boobs and hips. I'm sure most men would prefer that Beyonce body over the Miranda Kerr body. Most importantly, I know my husband loves my curves and he makes me feel sexy all the time. He definitely does not give me any pressure to lose weight.
So, my point is that women should think for themselves. Do not let the media or anyone else tell you how to feel and tell you that you are feel pressured. Do not make them you feel 'fat' or 'different'. Embrace your new curves, they come with your gorgeous bundle of joy after all.
It was good to hear a different perspective. I read the blog post in question, and was humbled at that mum's courage and honesty in exposing her post-baby tummy to the world.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, though, that women absolutely should think for themselves, and not allow themselves to be steamrolled with guilt about failing to achieve a perfect size 10 (or smaller) body within weeks of giving birth.
The problem is that when struggling with baby weight and floppy, flabby skin after a pregnancy, women might otherwise think "it's ok and normal to lose the weight slowly, and normal not to be as thin or toned as I was before even after healthy eating and exercise. It's just not possible to care for a newborn and snap my body into perfect shape simultaneously." However, when they see celebrities who accomplish quick post-baby weight loss and are looking like a million dollars just weeks after giving birth, they cannot ignore the reality that it IS POSSIBLE, and this is what makes it so hard to live with a body that feels too big and totally the wrong shape. Women can't help but feel that they just haven't put in enough effort, or lack self-control, etc.
The reality is that the celebrities in question have plenty of help in getting back into shape (sometimes including surgery), not to mention huge incentive to do so because their livelihood is on the line (since they make money, in large part, by looking fantastic). Most normal women just don't have the resources to get that kind of support for post-baby body recovery.
However, let's be honest - even if they did, most women might not want to spend hours every day working out away from their babies, eating a highly restricted diet, and feeling exhausted because at the same time they are still breastfeeding day and night.
It really is a question of choice, as you say.
We can choose to beat ourselves up every day. We can choose to be kind to ourselves. We can choose to exercise like fiends, eat only lettuce, and save up for plastic surgery. We can choose to make small but positive improvements day by day - go for walks with the baby, eat healthy foods, hang out with people who don't comment on our appearance.
So many choices, and we have to have the strength of mind to be comfortable with our choice.